What treat will come in the mail today?

It’s like Christmas every day around here. Last Monday, the mail carrier brought me a book, bubble envelopes and what I thought would be a flowing yellow blouse that turned out to have no sides. Poncho? Vest? Alb? I don’t know, but it’s pretty.

Another day, my mailbox held sky blue curtains I ordered to replace the broken blinds in my bedroom. For $31, they’re cheesy and don’t quite reach all the way across my windows, but they’ll work. The new blind-free view revealed my beat-up garden shed that really needs a new door and a coat of paint. Home Depot delivers!

This weekend, I ordered more bubble envelopes, another book, and three online auction items that I could totally live without. I have been ordering new stuff almost every day of the COVID pandemic shutdown. Normally I hate shopping, but this is so easy, and who doesn’t need something bright, shiny and new about now?

Some of what I have ordered: a crazy-colored cardigan (shown in photo), two pairs of earrings, a dog ramp, mandolin music, books, books, and more books. And then there was the ocarina. Shaped like . . . an ibis head? . . . it’s a musical instrument that sounded so beautiful on the video I had to have one. Turns out it plays like a recorder with the holes all turned around, and it’s extremely difficult to play in tune. Did I need to learn another instrument? Let’s see, I have one piano, one keyboard, three guitars, two mandolins, a ukulele, countless harmonicas and recorders, a couple kazoos, two tambourines, and my grandfather’s accordion. Uh, no.

Some of my orders have been things I needed, office supplies, for example. The dog ramp seemed essential after the last time I tried to lift 75-pound, bad-knees Annie into the SUV, couldn’t do it, and we stood in a parking lot staring at each other for a long time before I mustered the heave-ho to get her in. I’m still working on training her to go up the ramp and not around it.

Most of what I have ordered could not be found in local stores, even pre-COVID. This is a small town. Staples moved out. Our music store has downsized to a cubbyhole. I’m not thrilled about the clothes at Fred Meyer, plus I haven’t even looked there in the coronavirus era. Like most of my friends, I buy the groceries I need, get out ASAP, and sanitize the heck out of myself and everything that came out of the store.

But day after day at my computer, here’s Facebook–which knows everything I ever Googled or peeked at in any online store–dangling pretty things in front of me when I should be working. If I click on them, they keep coming back. You know you want them. You know you want them. Just give in and click “buy.”

That’s how I got the crazy cardigan. One day, after many viewings, I said, “If it shows up again today, I’m buying it.” It did, and I did. It took almost two months to arrive, and it’s even gaudier than it looked in the picture, but I kind of like it.

I just love getting packages. In my childless, widowed, orphaned state, I don’t get much for Christmas or my birthday, but why wait? Click, and it’s mine. I don’t have to touch any actual money, so the cost doesn’t sink in.

I think COVID has made us all a little nuts in this regard. A few Sundays ago, when in normal times I’d be at church, I posted on Facebook: “I will not buy anything online today, I will not buy anything online today, I will not . . .” One friend after another commented that she too was buying all kinds of stuff online. Many had bought something already that day. I held off, but on Monday, I was back at it.

I love the mailman and the UPS man—they are men in my neighborhood. Some things take forever to arrive—I’m still waiting for my iced tea machine replacement pitcher which I really do need–but other things, wow. Those bubble envelopes were here the next day. I can’t imagine how Amazon did that.

All this shopping seems to be a crazy COVID side effect. Not only are we at home and online way more than usual, but I think many of us have a feeling of why not enjoy ourselves now. We could get COVID and die next week.

What have I ordered today? Bigger bubble envelopes for my bigger books (which I would be delighted to mail to you. See suelick.com.)

Self-indulgent? You bet. But we all need a little dose of happiness these days.

So, how about you? Are you buying more than usual online? Is this the Internet equivalent of the Home Shopping Network? What’s the best or weirdest thing you have bought during the pandemic?

Author: Sue Fagalde Lick

writer/musician California native, Oregon resident Author of Freelancing for Newspapers, Shoes Full of Sand, Azorean Dreams, Stories Grandma Never Told, Childless by Marriage, and Up Beaver Creek. Most recently, I have published two poetry chapbooks, Gravel Road Ahead and The Widow at the Piano: Confessions of a Distracted Catholic. I have published hundreds of articles, plus essays, fiction and poetry. I'm also pretty good at singing and playing guitar and piano. View all posts by Sue Fagalde Lick