Wouldn’t you know?

So, I heard about a gig that I really, really want, but I can’t apply until it is officially announced. Meanwhile, my dear Annie refused to go outside, so I decided to take her with me to the post office and go on to walk on a wilderness trail. I wasn’t prepared to see any humans, but who is the first person I saw as we headed for the trail? The person who would be my boss. There I was with my yellow dog pulling me, despite me chanting, “Heel, Annie, heel.” I had no makeup on, raggedy hair, and was wearing my oversized Salvation Army pants that keep falling down. Swell. But this is what a writer looks like when she’s working at home.

“Hi,” I called, smiling. What else could I do? “Hello,” he replied, a look of disapproval on his face.

Oh well, if I get an interview, maybe when I show up dressed like a professional, I’ll look so swell he won’t recognize me. Anything is possible. Besides, do I want to work for somebody who doesn’t like dogs?

Sweet Annie is the one whose obstinacy led to me falling into the back wall of our house and spraining my wrist three weeks ago. I couldn’t see who was behind me, but I think both Annie and her brother Chico were there. All I know is that suddenly I was flying and I knew I was going to hit hard. It took a couple days for me to forgive the pups, but Annie is back to sitting in my lap while we watch TV. Yes, she weighs over 60 pounds. She was a saint in the car today.

Training these pups is a work in progress. My wrist is healing. It will be fine by Thanksgiving. To all those who say, “Get rid of those damned dogs,” I say, “No.” Both dogs and I have come so far it would be wrong to quit now. Look at that picture. Aren’t they sweet?

Besides, I need them to lick the envelopes for my Christmas cards.;-)

It’s a right-handed world

Having my right hand in a splint (one more week) means doing almost everything left-handed. Technically I am left-handed, but I do a lot of things with my right hand, and I’m beginning to realize why. Not only was I raised by right-handed parents, but the world is set up for right-handers. I get into my car, and the ignition is on the right side of the steering column. I have to twist around like a Slinky to turn it left-handed. Of course, the gearshift and parking brake are on the right side, too.

When I get home, I discover I have been unlocking the door with my right hand all these years. I stand there like an idiot trying to figure out which way to turn the key. In the kitchen, every jar or bottle is meant to be twisted by a right-hander. I almost had to get the neighbor to open a childproof-capped pill bottle for me. You should have seen me trying to chop vegetables. Cauliflower flying everywhere. Next time I may just pick up the whole thing and gnaw at it.

Opening any kind of package is a major challenge, and getting dressed leaves me breathless and aching. Now I know why my husband used to have so much trouble unhooking my bra. He’s left-handed. My zippers and buttons are on the wrong side,too and just tieing a shoe hurts.

I’m learning that elbows, teeth and feet can be very handy. Actually I’m very lucky. It’s only a sprained wrist. Lots of people have much worse problems. This is just a temporary challenge. I can already type two-handed again, and I can play piano very carefully. The doctor says I need one more week in the splint. Then I can start moving the wrist. Carefully. By Thanksgiving I should be doing pushups again, he says. I didn’t tell him I couldn’t do them before. 🙂 But I do look forward to being able to do all my yoga postures again. For now, I’ll be doing a lot of child’s pose and corpse pose. No plows or downward-facing dogs. Speaking of which, I was doing modified yoga yesterday, and I swear my black dog Chico was trying to do yoga, too. There he was on his back with his feet in the air . . .

Some folks are still telling me I have to get rid of the dogs. But others, including my doctor, think I’m better off with their company. I think the pups and I can reach an understanding. They’re 20 months old today. They’ll slow down eventually. I have.

The dogs won

See that sweet little dog in my profile picture? Well, Annie got big and stubborn. She and her brother are almost 20 months old now. Last night I was trying to put her out, so I could take Chico to church for the blessing of the animals. I can’t handle both at once, and C. is better in the car. Well, Annie wouldn’t go. I tried bribes, scaring her with the noisy can, sweet-talking and my tough voice. She just sat and barked at me. Finally I tried dragging her by the collar, but Chico followed us and somehow I found myself flying through the air into the back of the house. My right hand and my glasses hit first. I was able to fix the glasses, but my wrist required a visit to the hospital. It’s sprained. No typing, no piano or guitar, no nothing for at least a week. I’m finding it’s very tricky to do everything one-handed. Just try putting on a bra with only your left hand. Flossing is out of the question. Boy, I shouldn’t have had that poppyseed muffin for breakfast. 😉

The dogs want to eat my splint. They are sweet as ever today, but forget about the blessing. I think they need to go to confession.

Meanwhile I’m researching a novel about a one-handed woman.

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